18

Oct

Being Grateful

I have a question. Take a gander at the photo above.  If your life looked like this every day, would you start to take it for granted?

If the look of pure bliss-y relaxation / pig in shit pose somehow bypassed you, here’s another.

Actually, that one is probably more like, why are you disturbing my bliss-y nap?

Do you think our capacity to appreciate the good moments relies on the existence of the bad ones?  Does our baseline for happiness have to ride the rollercoaster of our emotions?

If we choose to hit reset as often as possible, to take a pause and appreciate what we do have, does our happiness and our minds start to resemble a wobbly top more than a never-ending game of bumper cars?

An old teacher once told me to think of a ringing bell, clear and bright.  In the midst of the daily chaos, the bell (the pretend one in your head) is the reminder to come back to yourself, to be in the moment, and to be grateful for the breathing, for the air, the light, the people around you, the love that exists. Every moment exists as itself, and unattached to the one before it and the one after.  Like goldfish, people, make your minds like goldfish.

That is all.

213 days ago Short URL Comments

How to Be A Grownup

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06

Sep

This goes somewhere.

I have a confession to make.  I went to a psychic last week and I didn’t hate it.  In this space, I could say that someone (ahem, Kelly) made me go with them.  I could say that I was pulled into it, and when I got there, I said sure why not, since I’m here anyway, tell me what the future holds.

Lisa the psychic was a really nice lady.  She was warm, friendly, and told me that I would live until the age of 91.  She also said that I was in a period of rebuilding (check!), was feeling unsure of what path my career would take (double check!) and generally just not sure which way was up (YES.). She said I wasn’t to worry, because the next year would hold all the answers, and that I would be successful in all those big life categories.  Anyhow, stuff, stuff, stuff…and whatever.

I liked it. It felt like I had been moving slowly down a dark path with my hands in front of me, and someone was nice enough to turn on the path lights.  Like, whew…I was hoping I was going in the right direction, but it’s really nice not having to worry about tripping over something.

I’m going to leave the whole whether-you-believe-in-second-sight thing out of it.  I think it’s irrelevant.  I think this all comes back to the idea of faith, and being wholehearted, and ba da da bum, being okay with being wrong.  When it comes down to it, it’s just the idea of someone impartial saying, yes, you’re doing good.  Who doesn’t like that?  It frees up all that extra space in the anxiety-ridden portion of your brain that is watching, waiting, and second guessing your every move.  Someone else is saying, of course, this is exactly what you should be doing, lean into it.

At the end of the session, I asked her if all the things she was telling me were true.  Or if they were going to be true based on what I was doing.  Essentially, friends, I asked her if fate was negotiable.  She said no.  But just between you and me, I’m just not sure if that’s true.

255 days ago Short URL 1 Comment

How to Be A Grownup/Miscellany

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27

Jul

A TED Talk Timeline

Two stories.

I discovered the world of TED talks a while ago, and mentioned it to my dad.  He’s big into life/world advice and had just gotten an iMac.  He listened (I think) and nodded.  A few months later, I’m at my parents’ house and he says something like, oh, did you see this video website on the internet, they have some really good talks.  TED.  Yes, I did know about it.  Thanks, Dad.

This morning, I woke up on the teetering edge of being late for Creative Mornings.  I dressed, walked out the door, got some coffee, debated for a second, and then turned right back around and came back to my apartment. I’m an asshole.  As penance, I decided to watch the various TED talks that my dad has sent to me over the last few months.  Because they are good for me.  Aren’t you glad you stopped by?

They are as follows:

July 8, 2:02PM  Don Tapscott, Four Principles for the Open World

This, as you will be able to tell, is a strangely long lull.  What my dad was doing at this time, I couldn’t tell you.

June 6, 12:33 PM Lisa Harouni, A Primer On 3D Printing

June 2, 9:17 AM  Benjamin Zander, On Music and Passion

May 24, 2:55 PM Susan Cain, The Power of Introverts

I told him I had gotten a copy of her book and if he wanted to borrow it.  He said even though it was nice to know that he wasn’t alone, but he didn’t feel the need to read a whole book about himself.

May 16, 9:47 AM Larry Smith, Why You Will Fail to Have a Great Career

The best of the bunch I think.  It’s also where I stopped.

May 13, 6:05 PM Joshua Foer, Feats of Memory Everyone Can Do

May 13, 5:31 PM Michael Tilson Thomas, Music and Emotion Through Time

May 12, 10:44 PM Amory Lovins, A 50 Year Plan for Energy

May 12, 9:32 PM Rory Sutherland, Perspective Is Everything

The list does continue.  May this Friday be your wisest and smartest Friday.  Thank my dad.

love, grace

296 days ago Short URL Comments

How to Be A Grownup/Miscellany

24

Jul

What Doesn’t Bend Breaks

I think this is a post about getting older.

I’ve had these lyrics stuck in my head.   ”Buildings and bridges, are made to bend in the wind, to withstand the world that’s what it takes.”

Remember Ani?  Isn’t it funny what breaks through the surface of your consciousness? Back in the land of high school awkward, when Kurt Cobain was alive then not, and amidst episodes of My So-Called Life, there was Ani DiFranco‘s Out of Range and Not a Pretty Girl.

I’ve been thinking a lot about faith lately, and on being centered.  Like a hippie.

Faith.  The idea of being true to an idea or a cause without proof, without reassurance.  The idea of believing something so much, that there’s nothing else you can imagine doing.  The idea that your fervent belief will guide you through.  I’m really just not good at this one.  I like lots and lots of reassuring proof.

Being centered.  The idea that despite all the ups and downs, the bad phone calls, the shitty and confusing things that people do, that you at the shifting center will always allow yourself be best version of yourself.  To be in the calm in the chaotic swirl, to understand that being happy is about who you are instead of where you are.  To know when to let things pass, and when to take a stand.  To let your edges be permeable, but not to let yourself get swallowed.  To hold strong to your core beliefs, without becoming brittle.  What doesn’t bend breaks.

Being a grownup is more work than I originally anticipated.  I will need more coffee.

299 days ago Short URL Comments

How to Be A Grownup

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25

Jun

For the Pride

Yesterday was the New York City’s Gay Pride March, and my neighborhood was pulsating with people in hot pants, colors, and really, really good vibes.

Earlier in the week, I happened to sit next to a group of young guys, fresh out of college, meeting up after their respective jobs in the area.  After greeting each other, one of them asked the other one if they were going to celebrate Pride.  He said, no, he didn’t see the point and that why didn’t the Straights go march in a parade.  I’ve been trying to figure how to write about this since then.

Part of me gets where he is coming from.  I think its part of human nature to want to not be the odd one out, to be part of the group.  Let’s call that high school.  (Back pats to those of you who managed to skip that awkwardness.)  Combined with the inevitable self satisfied, know-it-all post collegiate airs (no arguments, we all did that), I’m inclined to think that if he thought about it for another minute, he wouldn’t have been so dismissive.

The other part of me couldn’t help but be utterly let down and disappointed by what he said.  In my head, like an old person, I said, “What with the kids these days.”  We were sitting literally two blocks from The Stonewall Inn, epicenter of the gay rights movement.  We have only just celebrated the first year of New York State legalizing same sex marriage.  The past is not that far behind us.  The rights that those before us had to fight for, and the inequality that they had to face so we don’t have to, should never be taken for granted.   It doesn’t matter what politics you ascribe to, what religious beliefs you hold, or where you stand in the world.  Respect your elders.  Say thank you.

And now let us look at pretty pictures.

By the way, there was at least 26.5x more exposed flesh than these photos would lead you to believe.  I think my camera was feeling prudish or something.

Hope you had a great weekend too!  Yay, New York!

328 days ago Short URL Comments

How to Be A Grownup/New York, New York

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